


The Elegant Four

by Ruunkur



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: But man is it great, Crack Fic, In no way is this serious at all, This was hella fun to write, the absolute best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 16:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15199103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: What do the Harmonious Ones get up to while they are not helping the chosen in the digital world?





	The Elegant Four

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So I've written crack fic all of once in my life for HP titled "The Sticky Note Story". This is definitely crack fic.
> 
> I misspelled every single use of the word "elegant" in this entire thing. Note edited, but spell checked!
> 
> Thanks to YurImperial for the idea. Came off some notes where I forgot a word in a sentence, "We thought you lost" and turned into....well, this.

The stage is set, four elegantly dressed humans sit just on the outskirts of an indoor garden, and around a table. It's filled with food, each figure wearing an elegant dress and holding a cup of tea. The first bears a resemblance to a bird, down to the feathers threaded through their hair. They are dressed in reds and golds, three servants waiting for orders just off to the left.

Next to the figure in red sits a figure in green. This one is more squat than their elegant bird friend. They seem more like a turtle, slow in their movements and speech. While they hold a tea cup in one hand, the other holds a biscuit, though it seems as if they have forgotten completely about food and drink, enraptured as they were about what the figure next to them was saying.

This figure is dressed in blue, long hair spilling down their back. Long ago, they had tried to tame their hair, but had since given up. They gesture, the figure in red clicking their tongue until this figure in blue sets their cup down, letting out a huff before continuing to speak. They move, bold and strike with each motion as if they were a dragon taking flight.

And the fourth figure at the table is dressed in white, one leg elegantly crossed over their knee. They cock an eyebrow, hair pinned neatly into place and adorned as they liked to be with bronze pieces, scoffing at what the figure in blue had to say.

"My dear Qinglong, you know that you like to embellish your stories." The figure in white chides.

The figure in blue, Qinglong, looks chastised but meets the figure in white's gaze. "Andira and Majira were with me. Surely they can offer their voices to the truth in my words, Baihu."

"Servants will always give truth to their master's words." The one in green replied, Baihu looking almost offended at being cut off. "Vikarla and Vajra do that for me, I have no doubt that Andira and Majira will do the same."

"Xuanwu, you know we must never admit to our own faults!" The figure in red gasps, gold eyes going wide as they turn to face the figure in green.

"Oh, but perhaps if we acknowledged them every great...no, you are right. I do not know what you mean, my dear Zhuqiao, we would not admit to our faults." Xuanwu sets their cup down, folding their hands in their lap. They fidget, moving to finger the green silk.

"It's such a lovely day out," Baihu says, tipping their head back and looking at the garden around them. "If only Huanglong was here to enjoy it..."

"The poor soul," Qinglong murmurs, picking up their cup of tea and drinking. The other three did the same, Zhuqiao finishing their cup and moving to stand.

"Would anyone care for more tea?" They inquire, picking up the tea pot from the table. They chuckle as the three cups were set down, none of the others saying a thing. Slowly, they fill the cups, setting the pot back down and sitting. This was a thing the four elegant figures did often, sit and drink tea together.

"How long as it been since we last heard from Huanglong?" Xuanwu inquired, Baihu frowning and tapping a finger to their chin, hair pieces tinkling as they considered.

"It's been nearly a year, has it not?" Qinglong offered, Baihu nodding in agreement.

"Surely it's been longer than that!" Zhuqiao gasps. "It feels like so long since I last heard our friend's voice."

The four figures do not move when the door to the indoor garden smashes open, their servants moving to stand in front of them. They had agreed, long ago, to each only bring two servants, rather than all three. It would be unseemly for such elegant figures of society as them to be seen without servants, but they did not want anyone to think that they were full of themselves for bringing three servants each.

For surely there was nothing that would bother them while they were enjoying their tea? Despite the wars that raged around them.

"How could you?"

The voice causes the four elegant figures to turn, Zhuqiao yelping as they saw the soaked figure stumble into the garden. Their dress-which was gold-and their hair plastered to their body. They breathed heavily, Xuanwu letting out a gasp. Qinglong's cup fell to the ground, shattering as they stood, while Baihu looked on in surprise.

"Huanglong, we thought you lost!" Qinglong presses a hand ((I WAS LAUGHING/CRYING AT THIS PART FOR FUCKS SAKE)) over their chest, Baihu frowning in concern.

"My dear Huanglong, it is not raining. Why are you soaking wet? Come, sit," Baihu beckoned Haunglong over, the figure frowning.

"Huanglong is neither elegant nor dry, surely that is a requirement to sit with us Baihu?" Xuanwu inquired, watching as Andira moved to clean up the shattered glass. It would not do for any of the elegant figures to do the work that servants could do in their place.

"YOU FUCKERS TRIED DROWNING ME IN A LAKE!" Huanglong shouts, startling all but Qinglong with the voice.

"My dear, we would never-" Qinglong says in mock horror, eyes going wide. They raise their hand higher, pressing it against the base of their neck. "How dare you accuse of us doing such atrocities!"

"We went riding this _morning_ ," Huanglong spluttered, gesturing to their state. "You tossed me in the lake Qinglong!"

"We would never do something so....hard working." Zhuqiao responds, raising an eyebrow. "We are elegant figures, meant for offering cryptic advice. We offer to help, but truly never do."

"Huanglong, you are our center! We would never try to harm you. You are what keeps us elegant figures together." Xuanwu gestures towards the four, Huanglong crossing arms over their chest.

"My dear, we truly thought you lost. Yesterday seems so far gone..." Qinglong sunk into the chair, pressing an arm over their forehead. "I feel faint,"

"Oh, fuck this..." Huanglong turns, shaking their head. "You are as useless as tits on a boar hog."

"Such vulgar language!" Baihu gasps.

"Haunglong, surely you must understand our mistake. We did think you lost, true and gone." Zhuqiao replies, a hand delicately pressed over their mouth. "We could have not known..."

"I hate you all," Huanglong warned, walking over to their table and grabbing several pieces of elegant food. "I hate you, your useless, cryptic nonsense, the fact that you left me to drown!"

"Elegantly you must hate," Baihu cautioned.

"Elegant my ass," Huanglong turned, shoving the food in their mouth. "Elegant this," they added, sticking their tongue out and prancing around the table, soaking the elegant figures as they moved around. The four elegant figures stared at each other in horror, Qinglong blinking slowly.

"This is neither elegant nor cryptic...I do... I cannot handle this level-I must!" They turned, running and fleeing.

"I am unsuited to deal with the situation that does not call for being useless, I must leave." Zhuqiao left next, taking flight in the form of a bird.

Xuanwu nodded, "this is too fast for me, I too, must leave." Before disappearing.

Baihu sighed, running a hand over their dress. "We had an opportunity my dear, don't blame us for taking it." They winked, disappearing and leaving the inelegant Huanglong to eat their elegant food and drink their elegant tea before smashing the pot in frustration.

"'We thought you lost' my ass." Haunglong grumbles, leaving the indoor garden behind to go home, wanting the stench of lake water to be gone from them.


End file.
